Has yelling replaced spanking? Ready to cut it out?
As corporal punishment has been diminishing as a form of parental discipline the question is often asked are parents yelling more because they’re trying to avoid spanking their kids?
Most experts agree that it’s appropriate to yell at children when there is imminent danger and you need to get their attention quickly, for example “Get out of the road, there's a car comming!” But yelling out of frustration is not a sustainable strategy.
According to George Holden, a psychology professor who studies parent-child relationships at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, an occasional yell may be healthy for a child to experience, but regular yelling is ineffective and potentially damaging. Holden says, “You want to promote a positive, good close relationship where the child is going to listen to you because they want to please you and not because they’re scared of you or afraid you’re going to start yelling at them.”
So if you shouldn’t smack or yell, what’s the best way to discipline your child? The American Academy of Pediatrics, which does not recommend spanking, has some suggestions, including withholding privileges and time-out.
When you feel yourself getting ready to yell, try to step back and wait until you are calmer. Misbehavior is always a symptom so think about why the child is acting out. If there is an ongoing behavior issue, implement consequences and be consistent so follow through each and every time.
Ready to change your behaviour?
Join parents who are taking the “Orange Rhino Challenge” – a movement started online by an anonymous mom who decided to stop yelling at her kids for 365 days straight.
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