While the media hype is all about sexting a new study finds that teens aren’t sexting nearly as much as has been reported in the press. But they are texting—and sometimes sexting. So you definitely need to talk texting with your child.

Teens are the masters of texting. The latest Nielsen survey shows that kids ages 13 to 17 each send or receive on average an amazing 3,417 messages a month! That’s seven messages per waking hour!

They text, they don’t talk. While the amount of time they’re texting has skyrocketed, the amount they’re using their cell phone to talk has dropped significantly. In fact, voice usage has declined from an average of 685 minutes to 572 minutes every three months.

Most teen texting is innocent. A new study in the journal Pediatrics found that sexting—which is now considered texting or posting sexually suggestive or sexually explicit messages—isn’t nearly as common as once thought.

Sexting is a no-no. Prank or not, sending sexually explicit images by phone is a bad, bad idea. So it’s key to talk with your child about proper phone usage from the first minute he has the technology in his hand.

The grandmother test. Many experts recommend telling a teen that before they send an image, they should always ask themselves if it’s something they’d be comfortable showing their grandmother, their teacher or a future boss. If the answer is no, don’t send it!

Your kid should check in. Emphasize that your teen should always come to you if feeling pressured from anyone to send images of herself  that make her feel uncomfortable.

Keep talking. You can’t just have this conversation once and never again. Revisit safe texting rules every so often, especially if your teen suddenly becomes involved in a new romantic relationship.

Keep monitoring. Sexting or not: - texting is done by all teenagers, it’s how they communicate.  Most kids can balance it with the rest of their lives,  keep an eye out, if your child isn’t finishing homework, if she’s anti-social except via the phone or computer, or if she seems to be texting all night, you need to talk and find a way to curb it.

Rules and values are key. Even if your teen isn’t obsessed with texting, it’s still important to consistently go over your family rules and values when it comes to the cell phone, including no texting while driving.